Urgent Care

Sunday, April 20, 2008

unfinished thoughts....TBC

I've been awake since 6 am. It's been 4 hours since I started regretting getting out of bed.

I like to sleep. I particularly like naps but I don't get to have any as of late (late meaning the last 3 years.) Sometimes I psyche myself out by making the bed after Matt goes to work and laying back down with just a light blanket over me and laying horizontally across the mattress as if I just fell over from exhaustion of my long trecherous day.

It works.

I wake up hours later and find myself feeling refreshed and unexpectedly cold.

This morning however, I had to get up to write.

The last few weeks have been challenging for my family. We've been trying to spend time together while juggling opposite work schedules, misc. commitments and a house in despret need of some spring cleaning. I haven't seen my husband in 5 days. I've seen him in passing I guess, the daily baby pass off as he kisses me hello and I kiss him goodbye so I won't be late to work. He chose to work the weekend to make up for lost hours, so here I am writing a blog about random lonliness. Or naps, I can't decide which.

It seems that whenever Matt and I are away from eachother for extended periods of time we don't get along as well. Funny, 'cause one might think that we would be enjoying the time we do have together instead of bickering about everything. It's mostly me actually. I get crazy when left alone for too long. I start to feel unloved and that just makes me bitter.

For the last week I have felt like a single parent. I take care of the kids by myself during the day and then off I go to work all night long and come home to a sleeping husband. I'm sure Matt feels the same way too. His approach when we finally get to hang out though is far too rational and sadly it's just not part of my genetic makeup.

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